Based on my last post, I made it very clear that loving someone is never stagnant and yet, when making a playlist on “Loving”, I just want to sit in the joy of it, in the crush feels, in the teenage lust, in the commercial songs that help people cope during moments where love in their lives might be in a state of euphoria or it actually might feel like it’s dwindling, hanging by a thread, but hanging anyway.
That’s the thing about the ebb n flow; the good moments in our head still feel good, sometimes even painful because of how good they feel. We might be upset with our partner, but the very thought of their skin against ours recalibrates our brain chemicals. It’s the premise of every toxic relationship, which made me question if I wanted a song from Lemonade, an album notorious for Beyoncé publicly shaming and forgiving Jay-Z for cheating on her, on the playlist. Similarly, does some cheesy early 00s emo song declaring obsession for some unnamed lover match the kind of loving I’m trying to perpetuate in 2023?
I put a lot of thought into this because the way I thought about love at 17 is much different than how I think about it now. I am not trying to find the perfect person who likes the exact same things as me or become infatuated with someone who treats me like shit. Love these days is more about mutual respect and honest conversations. Once you accept it, this kind of love is actually so much sexier.
When I hear a love song, I always wonder if those people are still together. Does the vocalist feel awkward now with all those gushy lyrics? I have friends who are musicians who have songs dedicated to people that I know. They break up and now I am stuck with the information of who this song was about and why they broke up, no longer able to listen to the song in its purity. I also wonder if that’s for the best. I am so unable to separate a story and context from a piece of work. I wish someone would help me turn off my obsession with knowing just for a little.
Truth is, I choose not to look into songs like “Nothing Can Change This Love.” I’m just going to believe that Sam Cooke felt it and that’s all that matters to me right now. I think it is hilarious what my “love” playlist would’ve looked like at 13, 15, 17. It was full of the saddest, cheesiest shit you’ve ever heard; songs about obsession, yearning, heartbreak, pop punk atrocities and melodic hardcore declarations. At the time, that was the only way I was accessing love. I had no idea what the fuck it meant, but it felt so good to immerse myself in someone else’s interpretation of it. I just did some digging on my old Tumblr and found this 8tracks that I used to post playlists on. Here’s a little bit of Rivka history in case you were interested.
I decided that these recommendations will be from today Rivka’s understanding of love, with some timeless classics thrown into the mix.
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