January 2022
A gust of eternal sunshine,
under a distant overthrow of snow —
I search there for warmth, lay my body
along the chill and quiver to the sound of
absence. I wonder, when was the first time I
felt this peacefully alone?
There is no one inside waiting for me,
no hot bath running,
ready for my numbed feet.
No hot chocolate on the countertop
in my favorite mug.
No one waiting for me to hurry up,
take a seat, and
turn the movie on.
I enter inside and it is just me.
I put clean sheets on my bed,
take a nap without an alarm clock.
I light a patchouli-scented candle,
sit listening to the cars driving
up & down Sheridan.
I turn on the stove,
boil ginger, honey and lemon
like they can’t exist without the other.
I sit in the solitude of choice,
a newfound embrace of autonomy.
It is no longer a mirage of childhood
that I am yearning to repair, instead
I steep in the simmer of healing.
It is hot, warm and
sweet.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Rivka's Ramblings, Theories and Offerings to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.